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Post Info TOPIC: [Jokes] Jester's Corner: LOL's R Us


DIO's #1 Lady Bandit

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Date: May 9, 2008
[Jokes] Jester's Corner: LOL's R Us



A pastor's wife was expecting their first baby.  At the next meeting of the congregation he asked for a raise. After much discussion they passed a rule that whenever the preacher's family expanded, so would his paycheck. After six children this started to get expensive. The congregation decided to hold another meeting to discuss the preacher's expanding salary. A great deal of yelling and bickering ensued as to how much the clergyman's additional children were already costing the church, how much more it could potentially cost, and what to do about it. After listening to them for about an hour, the pastor rose from his chair and spoke, 'Children are a gift from god. We should take as many gifts as he gives us.' Silence fell on the congregation. In the back pew, a little old lady struggled to stand, and finally said in her frail voice, 'Rain is also a gift from god, b ut when we get too much of it, we wear rubbers.'


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Mob Ruler

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Date: May 10, 2008


What's better than roses on your piano?


Spoiler


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DIO's #1 Lady Bandit

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Posts: 306
Date: Jun 13, 2008

Four friends who hadn't seen each other

in thirty years are reunited at a party.



After several drinks, one of the men

had to use the rest room.



Those who remained talked about their kids.



The first guy said, 'My son is my pride and joy. He got a good Catholic
education and then started working at a successful company at the bottom of the
barrel. He studied Economics and Business Administration and soon began to
climb the corporate ladder and now he's the president of the company. He became
so rich that he gave his best friend a top of the line Mercedes for his
birthday.'



The second guy said, 'Darn, that's terrific! My son is my prideand joy. He
also got a good Catholic education and he started working for a big airline,
then went to flight school to become a pilot. Eventually he became a partner
in the company, where he owns the majority of its assets. He's so rich that he
gave his best friend a brand new jet for his birthday.'



The third man said: 'Well, that's terrific! My son attended a good Catholic
school, studied in the best universities and became an engineer. Then he
started his own construction company and is now a multimillionaire. He also
gave away something very nice and expensive to his best friend for hisbirthday: A 30,000
square foot mansion.'



The three friends congratulated each other

just as the fourth returned from the restroom and asked:

'What are all the congratulations for?'



One of the three said: 'We were talking about the pride we feel for the
successes of our sons. ...What about your son?'



The fourth man replied: 'My son went to a state school, is gay and makes a
living dancing as a stripper at a nightclub.'



The three friends said: 'What a shame...

what a disappointment.'



The fourth man replied: 'No, I'm not ashamed. He's my son and I love him.

And he hasn't done too bad either.

His birthday was two weeks ago,

and he received a beautiful

30,000 square foot mansion,

a brand new jet and

a top of the line Mercedes

from his three boyfriends.'

-- Edited by luxordream at 13:45, 2008-06-30

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Mob Ruler

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Date: Jun 28, 2008

Alright iBeaux and everyone else, not a joke but a riddle a coworker told me:

Sip and Gulp, two guys, enter a bar. Sip and Gulp both order and receive the same drink. 30 minutes later Sip dies. What happened?



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DIO's #1 Lady Bandit

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Posts: 306
Date: Jun 30, 2008

Not sure there ARTIE...what happened ?

Btw,could you please tray and fix the font, etc...on the previous joke I posted? I tried 3 times and nothing happened.

-- Edited by iBeaux at 13:39, 2008-06-30

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Mob Ruler

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Date: Jun 30, 2008

iBeaux wrote:

Not sure there ARTIE...what happened ?

Btw,could you please tray and fix the font, etc...on the previous joke I posted? I tried 3 times and nothing happened.

-- Edited by iBeaux at 13:39, 2008-06-30




Both drinks had a deadly poison in the drinks' ice cubes. Sip sipped his and Gulp gulped his.

No one was able to figure it out when my co worker told it either.


 

As for the font issue, if you are copying text from a web page or an email that is colored or formatted a certain way, paste it into a simple text editor program using the txt only format. This will strip out the invisible html tags. Then re copy the plain txt here.

 



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DIO's #1 Lady Bandit

Status: Offline
Posts: 306
Date: Jun 30, 2008

You know Artie, that joke almost still doesnt make sense. I mean, I figured out the meaning of their names had something to do with it, thats kind of a dead giveaway. However, considering the riddle doesnt specify whether Gulp crunched the ice cubes after he downed the drink. Also, you have to allow a margin there for the immediate ice melting upon the drink mixture hitting it as it enters the glass. Some amount of poison, no matter how minute, would've been ingested by Gulp. Then we have to take into consideration lesions in the esophageal lining, etc... It's still possible Gulp died first.

If it's not too much trouble, do you have a death certificate you could show me? LOL Ok, I'll stop thinking now...

Btw, thanks for the text help. I had no idea why the damn thing wouldn't format correctly. Wow, didnt know they hid things in my email text. Scary thought!

-- Edited by iBeaux at 17:32, 2008-06-30

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